if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you inspire me to be a worse person
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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