Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
