I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
