Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
