The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
