A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
