I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
