How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
