She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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