There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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