I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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