I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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