There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
