I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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