you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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