I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
