Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize