Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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