I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
