Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
