I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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