I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
