I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
