dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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