his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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