i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
