Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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