He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
