she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
They took my balls.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
