I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize