Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
