The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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