i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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