I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
