I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
