big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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