Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize