Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
