she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
my poor anus
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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