I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
