i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
