Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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