Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
