Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
