even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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