Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
