She's JV to your varsity
someone get that fucking seahorse.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
