But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
