So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Its about making memories worth repressing
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
