you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
