At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
