Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
