1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she told me i tasted like america
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize