He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize