This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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