you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
