we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
