I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
