I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize