The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Randomize
