Pants 0. Shit 1.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
