Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize