I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize