Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
