And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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