the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
