So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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