and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
