You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
