So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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